Diwali time.....blessings and regrets

Hi folks. It's a big hindu festival and I wish you all Happy Diwali. It's hindu New Year.

So....HAPPY DIWALI.

I think it's very special and significant time cuz it gives you such feel of changing everything for good. If you are already happy than you can just move into a new level and if you are than you can always start or create a new one. Actually I am really looking for 2012 to start and leave 2011 in past, even thought it was generally a good year for me and "Jal" was the biggest thing that happened (the shoot i mean) but it was a big process of experience and self rediscovery. "Jal" is not only one prof thing that I did obviously and there are others as well but I don't talk about it unless it's about to release. I did write a lot about "Jal" cuz it touched me a lot and that time in a desert for 40 days was something "out of the world experience". It was like you are living in a desert, experiencing that life, seeing people in villagers, and you connect to yourself so much cuz its only you and the desert and your feelings and your emotions. I dont think i was really to interact with all my feelings and emotions but I had no choice. And with all this you also doing your work and have to do it at your level best. So that time is very precious to me and everything what I learn over there and probably there is nobody who ever seen so much of me and my emotions as Girish Malik......i believe we will work again :-) But actually all creative people are a bit mad........cuz talent is madness I suppose. But thats actually a very beautiful feeling when all ur emotions and feelings just get on a surface of a land. No matter how many movies I will do and etc but "Jal" is something that made a big changes in me as it was destiny. And the story was significant to me and related to many things in my life that I associated it with. It was probably the most important thing this year but I would not like to go through it again (i mean of living there and be exposed to urself). Probably one day I will be in Bhuj and will be remembering how we were shooting and where but let it remains as an experience.

I had very nice interview yesterday. It was for Germany. Was happy to have intelligent conversation about beauty and many different things. I don't know why people are scared of being honest and speak their mind. If you ask me what I think I tell you what I think, if you are not ready to hear than don't ask but I believe in being true to yourself. My way of living was always following your heart and say what you think and I guess it was always working for me as practice shows.

As life is always a balance, I met some amazing people and had some bad experience as well. Probably it's better not to focus on negative part as it was learning experience. There was one guy who was and still is using my photos for his "beautiful publicity" or I don't know how to call it. Let's not use his name as such people are not worth it to be names. He clicked pix with me and posted all over facebook and tells we are dating or whatever, and he put so many pictures that for every normal person it really looks as we do. But....THATS NOT TRUE. I just randomly know him and never thought that someone can do such a silly thing. Thats embarrasing and it's actually harassement. It's exactly what I was talking about in my previous post. He probably feels very happy that all people in his area and on facebook think that he has something to do with me. I obviously tried to report all pix to facebook but no results and he blocked me but still using the pix. It really makes me feel sad when there are such elements who spread rumours and infact makes it. He is just acquitance.........I was writing about it in previous post and now there is a perfect example. So.....I am not in relationship and not dating and it was totally rubbish. But it was learning experience. In whole my life never had it before but now I generally scared of clicking pictures with people cuz next day they just can post it and say something that is not there.

But also I met amazing people recently........Will see how things go and hopefully after couple of months I will write something very beautiful.

The best thing that happened recently is that I met and "Angel" :-))) after whole year :-) It was great and beautiful. I felt blessed and it was lots of harmony and it was just beautiful. The most beautiful thing in life is when you feel divine energy. It's a blessing to know somebody who thinks exactly like you and you have such a similar character. And even though you don't spend much time together due to film industry and shooting but you are always connected and always in touch no matter where the shoot is. And when you get a time to meet its sooooo soooo beautiful and special. I am really happy that there are people in my life who like me the way I am and who is just there. As I never write names in my blog I am not going to do it :-) I think it's wrong to disturb somebodies privacy and use names. At least I never use names in my blog as it's my personal interaction and I dont make news of my personal life. I share my experience and the way I am.

Maybe one say when I will be pretty old woman I will write a book with all reality how it is, was and will be and will include real people in it:-)

I am uploading a video and suggest to everybody to watch it. It's just beautiful song.

Happy Diwali. I wish you all to be honest to yourself and be honest to the world around, we are in charge on our destiny and we should always be loyal to ourselves.

Lots of Love

Saidah Jules

"Jealousy...Being beautiful"

Hi folks

I just want to share with you a "simply life" of a beautiful girl (or any person i am sure).

If God made you beautiful that obviously you should be thankful to Him for this cuz if I was not beautiful than I guess nothing in my life would be the way it is. Thats true that beauty opens many doors and if you are also intelligent than it opens really many doors. People always give you priority if you look beautiful. In school, in college, in University, at work and of cause in private life every guy will be after you as well. I dont know anybody who would not like it. I think my modeling career happen cuz i look photogenic and beautiful in pictures. In acting as well, apart of acting talent looking good on screen is important. People always like to see you around and etc etc etc. Whatever I am now and whatever I have now it's only because I am beautiful person and I am thankful to God he made me that way. But let's not stress out on this. There is another side that people don't know.

Another side is ... JEALOUSY.

I know thousands of people and ask me how many are my true friends? Who is that genuine friend who is there for me for share happiness and when i am down. I can tell you one hand is more that enough to count that people. All others are acquaintance and they are jealous. And you deal with this shit every day.

Especially jealous girls, its normally very small people who tries to send you different small shit and they believe it affects you? For example you are shooting and than a girl (who works with u or from same field) come and says like "Oh wow, Saidah, you put on weight sooooooo much". But you know you are same as before. Believe me people, whenever someone is jealous they always tell you this or talk about weight or pick up all such similar topics. But when someone wants to be nice they say "Oh, Saidah, you lost so much weight". But the point is that i am always the same, 1 kg always comes and goes but its not visible normally. So always remember, if someone is a bitch she says "u put on weight" and if someone wants to pretend to be nice it will be "you lost weight".

Another part is rumors. Yes ofcuz, it cant be without them. And normally it's a bad rumors and based on sex topic as a rule. As Mumbai is a small city and showbiz in general it's gonna be like this.... whenever you are seen with a guy it means you are sleeping together. It can't be you relative, your friend, your co-star or just professional meeting...it just can't be that way. It HAS TO be that you are sleeping together. And if even you dare to have a picture together...FOR SURE it's love forever and you gonna die same day and you are secretly married. It's just be a simple picture with a friend or just with a person, it always has to be more...MUCH MORE behind it. And if you are spotted in a restaurant or coffee shop in a hotel...THATS A CRIME!!! it means you were in a room and came down to eat. Secret love affair has been disclosed.

SO....got me people?

So.....some of your "friends" will always bitch a bout you. Thats the fact....Or some of them might even ask for help and than they will just dessapear. Or some "friends" will copy you. Sometimes it's very funny to see how you female "friends" try to copy you or your ideas. But the idea is they pretend to be your friends;-)))) but they will be the first to put you down as well.

So....what next? A movie.....if by any chance you got a good work than it's be cause you slept with producer or director. It just can't be cuz of your personality, your work experience, your performance or you look. Its only cuz you slept with someone. Probably if everything was so simply that every second girl in Mumbai would be a real actress and we could see them on screen but unfortunately for them sex is not the key for success. To become somebody takes much much more than all this all together.

To all people I would say that before you speak you should always ask yourself what for you are doing it and what energy you send to the world? If to spread rumors or talk rubbish makes you really happy human being but def do it and we are ready to put our names on it but I doubt it really does. Every person has their own path, the way, their situations in life and everything. We should never judge and we should focus on our things. There is only one thing that distroys everything..its JEALOUSY.

I wish everybody not to be jealous. It's a really a horrible thing. People should be realistic and down to earth. It's very important to see the truth and not that you want to see.

Before talking bad about others just ask yourself if you are perfect? Or what would you do? I really do believe this world can be better than it is if jealousy would not be part of it.

I don't understand why everybody wants to be models in Mumbai? why? If you want to be glamourous than just be no matter what work you do. You can always dress up well and put makeup on if you are a woman. You don't need to be a model for it. In fact most of models looks very ordinary in life.

Why every guy in Mumbai think that girls are fall in love with good looking guys? let me tell you that it's about brains. It doesnt matter how many muscles you have. it's all about ur brains and intelligence and the way you are. Just be yourself and be a man. It's that simple.

Also it happens with jealous guys that.....when they like someone and can't be with that person they will always talk bad about that girl and ofcuz that they slept together, had affair and that girl is after him but he is such a hero and doesn't wanna be with her. There are almost thousands of guys in Mumbai who "was with me" but the point i don't know 99% of them. :-) Thats the point - people love to make stories when they are jealous and as a rule it has to be based on sex.

And the last thing - if you are beautiful you can't be intelligent. You can't can't be smart and educated. So if beautiful person does business as well than it is something very suspicious cuz beautiful females can't be smart. It's very hard to accept for a man that actually they can and they can compete with them. So it's a scary thing for a man to accept that a woman actually can be more powerful.

So....with all this shit I have to deal all the time........and what do I do? DON'T BOTHER.

I am happy with the way I look and the way I am. If someone doesn't like it than...."the exit door is over there". And i am not gonna sit at home just because if I go to restaurant in hotel some limited minded people will think I came down from upstairs. No way. Life is always moving on and there is life behind everything.

The main point in life and the way to be happy is to live life you have and to be the person you and to be content and enjoy your own life. Not others people, UR OWN.

And the last thing - nobody can make you a star ....that magical light comes from inside of the person. Certain people can show you but nobody can make you somebody if you are not somebody yourself.

Life your own life and be happy with what you have. Jealousy never made anybody better human being or a happy person.

Love to all

Saidah Jules