Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Diwali time.....blessings and regrets

Hi folks. It's a big hindu festival and I wish you all Happy Diwali. It's hindu New Year.

I think it's very special and significant time cuz it gives you such feel of changing everything for good. If you are already happy than you can just move into a new level and if you are than you can always start or create a new one. Actually I am really looking for 2012 to start and leave 2011 in past, even thought it was generally a good year for me and "Jal" was the biggest thing that happened (the shoot i mean) but it was a big process of experience and self rediscovery. "Jal" is not only one prof thing that I did obviously and there are others as well but I don't talk about it unless it's about to release. I did write a lot about "Jal" cuz it touched me a lot and that time in a desert for 40 days was something "out of the world experience". It was like you are living in a desert, experiencing that life, seeing people in villagers, and you connect to yourself so much cuz its only you and the desert and your feelings and your emotions. I dont think i was really to interact with all my feelings and emotions but I had no choice. And with all this you also doing your work and have to do it at your level best. So that time is very precious to me and everything what I learn over there and probably there is nobody who ever seen so much of me and my emotions as Girish Malik......i believe we will work again :-) But actually all creative people are a bit mad........cuz talent is madness I suppose. But thats actually a very beautiful feeling when all ur emotions and feelings just get on a surface of a land. No matter how many movies I will do and etc but "Jal" is something that made a big changes in me as it was destiny. And the story was significant to me and related to many things in my life that I associated it with. It was probably the most important thing this year but I would not like to go through it again (i mean of living there and be exposed to urself). Probably one day I will be in Bhuj and will be remembering how we were shooting and where but let it remains as an experience.

I had very nice interview yesterday. It was for Germany. Was happy to have intelligent conversation about beauty and many different things. I don't know why people are scared of being honest and speak their mind. If you ask me what I think I tell you what I think, if you are not ready to hear than don't ask but I believe in being true to yourself. My way of living was always following your heart and say what you think and I guess it was always working for me as practice shows.

As life is always a balance, I met some amazing people and had some bad experience as well. Probably it's better not to focus on negative part as it was learning experience. There was one guy who was and still is using my photos for his "beautiful publicity" or I don't know how to call it. Let's not use his name as such people are not worth it to be names. He clicked pix with me and posted all over facebook and tells we are dating or whatever, and he put so many pictures that for every normal person it really looks as we do. But....THATS NOT TRUE. I just randomly know him and never thought that someone can do such a silly thing. Thats embarrasing and it's actually harassement. It's exactly what I was talking about in my previous post. He probably feels very happy that all people in his area and on facebook think that he has something to do with me. I obviously tried to report all pix to facebook but no results and he blocked me but still using the pix. It really makes me feel sad when there are such elements who spread rumours and infact makes it. He is just acquitance.........I was writing about it in previous post and now there is a perfect example. So.....I am not in relationship and not dating and it was totally rubbish. But it was learning experience. In whole my life never had it before but now I generally scared of clicking pictures with people cuz next day they just can post it and say something that is not there.

But also I met amazing people recently........Will see how things go and hopefully after couple of months I will write something very beautiful.

The best thing that happened recently is that I met and "Angel" :-))) after whole year :-) It was great and beautiful. I felt blessed and it was lots of harmony and it was just beautiful. The most beautiful thing in life is when you feel divine energy. It's a blessing to know somebody who thinks exactly like you and you have such a similar character. And even though you don't spend much time together due to film industry and shooting but you are always connected and always in touch no matter where the shoot is. And when you get a time to meet its sooooo soooo beautiful and special. I am really happy that there are people in my life who like me the way I am and who is just there. As I never write names in my blog I am not going to do it :-) I think it's wrong to disturb somebodies privacy and use names. At least I never use names in my blog as it's my personal interaction and I dont make news of my personal life. I share my experience and the way I am.

Maybe one say when I will be pretty old woman I will write a book with all reality how it is, was and will be and will include real people in it:-)

I am uploading a video and suggest to everybody to watch it. It's just beautiful song.

Happy Diwali. I wish you all to be honest to yourself and be honest to the world around, we are in charge on our destiny and we should always be loyal to ourselves.

Lots of Love
Saidah Jules

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